pableu's big day...

pableu and his freckly face. will he know the difference???

tomorrow pableu is being gelded. i have such a jumble of feelings about it. i know that in order for him to live happily and peacefully with the rest of our herd and the mares we need to do this but it really breaks my heart. when i saw him for the first time with his family band during those glorious summer days at spanish springs in twin peaks he was so radiant and new! stepping with his little spindly legs over rocks that had me almost flat on my face at times he was graceful in his bobbs up and down. i'll never forget the color of the sky during those days and the mules ears and lupine yelling at the sky so full and fragrant. we climbed up a hill to get above them so we could just sit and watch and when i looked down at the ground i found a small-point, obsidian arrowhead. it wasn't just a gift or a treasure it was an affirmation telling me that the day was perfect. the horses were perfect. the land was blessed despite all of it's tradgedy and bloodshed and that Creator was in charge that day. it was a moment in time that has stained my heart and memory with the colors it lent me and i will cherish it forever. so to reconcile with the fact that i have to alter my little fella because he was rudely stolen from his family and homeland cuts deeply and brings up lots of old tribal sorrows for me. if i could put him back i would. God how i wish i could. but all i can do is smudge him, make him comfy, hold his head and sing to him while the deed gets done and pray hard that he comes thru well and healthy. i've already apologized to him and i hope he will forgive me...  

the heart of a big angel...(dedicated to layla joling)

"gee i like your fur! it's fun and silky!'...joaquin



joaquins new best friend...



although i don't know much about religious stuff i do know that many of the angels and arch angels were big and strong and had a alot of power. when we see pictures of them they are always pumped up. muscular. stern looking. my good friend chuck thinks that big, strong, pumped up horses, especially the ones that are pushy and standoffish with us can learn from humans to "let their insides come out". i get what he means. oftentimes when an animal or even better, a human postures this way it's because they 1) think it's their 'job'  2) or they are actually being defensive because of a lack of security. with regards to joaquin, our alpha-boss guy in our herd of 7, i think it's a bit of both. he defends all of the little ones human and horse. his behavior with pableu when he was small was incredible. he will come see me when he feels like it and when strangers come he will come check them out too but for the most part, wants to be left alone by both humans and his herd buddies. but...a couple days ago our wonderful friends jamie and justin were out here with their kids and layla, their 5 year old daughter, made friends with joaquin. he really liked her. he toussled up her hair, sniffed her all over, made her smile and giggle and they had a good ol time together. but the most wonderful thing was the look in joaquins eyes. they were soft and curious and he was careful to be ever so gentle with her. she showed him that there are still innocent humans out here that don't want anything but to be friends and share in big fun. and to all of you who keep saying that this horse is "dangerous" or "not to be trusted". HORSE PUCKY!!! he's got the heart of a big angel is all and they are not often understood. and to those of us who think we can "whisper" horses? maybe we can't. but maybe our little ones with their giggles and honesty and innocent ways still intact, can...